You now need a D.A.I.P. Domestic Abuse Intervention Programme
Our Mission Statement – by the Founder David Eggins
Thirty years ago, we named our intervention programme TEMPER Domestic Violence: Temper being both a noun and a verb. Domestic violence at that time was seen to be about the emotion of ANGER. Since then it has become much more about ABUSE. So, we now offer a D A I P , a Domestic Abuse Intervention Programme, mainly for self-referring participants.
We believe that EMOTIONAL regulation is at the centre of most abuse.
The overall aim of our charity is to make families safe so that children can be brought up, as far as possible, by both parents, whenever possible enjoying safe contact with both parents and their extended families, both maternal and paternal.
OUR INTENSIVE PROGRAMME
Our course has evolved over 30 years; we have taken into account what keeps participants engaged, what our course members and their families need, and the learning has been sustained by the results we have achieved. We have shown that our intervention works well, a very early clinical psychology report on a client “before and after” established that. It has been most effective with closed groups of men and women, embracing the challenge of achieving change as early and as expeditiously as possible. Our mild concerns about our practice of working with both males and females were put to rest in 2012 by Dr Louise Dixon when we met her. Her research confirmed our beliefs and experience that females with abusive behaviours have very similar problems to males and that therefore there would be no reason not to work with women in the same group as men.
PATHWAY TO CHANGE
The process we undertake is to bring about changes in behaviours:
- 1st level changes, the understanding of self
- 2nd level changes, understanding of the other sex,
- 3rd level changes, recognising of the children’s needs,
With these fundamental pillars of understanding, we hope to bring a much greater understanding of intimate couple relationships, and the expectations of modern British society.
Failures in any or all of these areas can leave children separated from a parent, and frequently either or both parents separated from their own support networks.
We can work alongside Family Court proceedings, helping individuals to engage meaningfully with their case. Sometimes participants seek our help after the proceedings have concluded, sometimes before they become necessary. And, of course, not all clients are involved in the family courts, many have been and some still are seeking to manage themselves much better in their relationship.
Over the 30 years since we started, we have learnt many lessons and, of course, made changes to match our learned experience.
LESSONS LEARNED
Supervision of the work:
Initially and for the first 23 years, this was by a consultant psychiatrist, and later, when he retired, by qualified supervisors who had trained into the role.
Duration of the work:
We work with closed groups of a maximum of 8 participants working with a male and a female facilitator working cooperatively together; we deliver 8 interactive online Zoom sessions of 3 to 3 ½ hour sessions twice a week, and a concluding 8 hour face-to-face group session at a regional venue. Typically the course can be completed over 6 weeks to 8 weeks with follow up group sessions and support over the following months. We welcome participants from all over the country.
OUR NEXT COURSE – Watch this space for updates
Our next course starts on Sunday, 21st June 2026.
Other proposed start dates are here in – Contact details.
The next Face-to-Face is likely to be in London.
Contact us:
To enrol call 01604211445 or 07833143724.
Or you can email: temperdv@gmail.com
If we have more potential participants than course slots, we sometimes add an additional course on Sundays and Thursdays, with an alternative face-to-face day arranged in Birmingham or Wakefield. Contact us for further details
We tailor our courses to our participant’s needs.
ASSESSMENT
The “cut-off” date for the next possible courses is usually the Friday before the start on the Sunday.
By that time we would need to have completed a first meeting via Zoom to go through the Application Form. This meeting usually takes about an hour or two and costs £30. For self-referrers who later require a report we need oversight of any court paperwork.
You might have become isolated even in some cases profopundly isolated. When you join us you become a member of our extended “family“.
With clients now attending from all over the UK, England, Scotland and Wales, Zoom online plus 1 full day face-to-face has become the new way of working. Maximum group size is 8 people. In addition to this there is homework, this can take an hour to an hour and a half. After completing the face-to-face work, there is regular weekly face-to-face support work. Participants can rejoin a group and seek support and guidance from each other and our program facilitators.
Our regional meetings
People from different online groups can choose where and when to attend the face-to-face, all-day Sunday sessions, these are in London, Birmingham and in various towns in the North of England according to demand.
What does it cost?
We are a charity and the cost for the whole course is £580. Once the face-to-face work has been completed, a concluding report can be available at a further £100, if required. We accept payments by instalments.
Male and Female Participants
From the outset, we have supported face-to-face, men and women who have exhibited abusive behaviours and their female or male partners. Our headline work is with the abusive person. We have completed 36 hours of therapeutically informed work with more than 1350 men and more than 120 women over the years since our foundation.
We have extensively supported about 200 partners, about 120 females and 80 males for very varied periods of time.
Our on-line format contains all of the relevant content of our tried and tested methods and the 1 day face-to-face addresses the most demanding of the original experiential content, condensed into a challenging day.
What we promote
1) Emotional regulation – this might well include some anger management.
2) Impulse control training, learning to respond rather than react
3) A much better understanding of intimate couple relationships,
4) An understanding of primary declarative emotions,
5) New skills for communication, which need to be learnt and practised
6) Active listening and feeding back. (The work is about emotions and behaviours).
7) The developments of insight and empathy are intrinsic in all we do. Dr Lisa Feldman-Barrett points out the difficulties people can have in recognising empathy in others and Dr Louanne Brizandine points out the sharp differneces between “female empathy” and “male empathy.” Quotes are given and explanations at this link.
8) We maintain a focus on the needs of each and every participant in his or her individual circumstances.
9) The process is to facilitate learning. It is done by raising curiosity and interest.
OUR FACILITATORS
Our front-line workers are called facilitators the whole process is carried out in accordance with an ethos which involves active listening, and feeding back, non- judgemental, non-punitive interventions.
We attempt to raise curiosity. Work needs to avoid engaging the fight/flight/freeze reponses in individuals which stops or inhibits their learning.
OUR SOCIAL ENGAGEMENT SYSTEM
Whenever possible the client’s social engagement system needs to be harnessed to facilitate learning, based on research by Dr Steven Porges.
An attachment based model of Drs John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth is the most productive model: the fundamentals of which can be found here,
Between 1996 and 1998 we developed a wheel of 8 basic, primary, categorical emotions. The wheel provides a simple “roadmap” allowing people to learn to “name and tame” their own emotions and recognise much more fully a partner and children in emotional states. Dr Daniel Siegel highlights the centrality of emotions and the need to be able to “name and tame” them.
We understand the need for a greater focus on sadness and grief and the sense of loss that family break ups almost inevitably cause to all involved. Dr Loanne Brizendine recognises through her research that men tend to have hurt, sadness and grief largely “educated out” of their views of themselves. A frequent alternative to expressions of sadness and grief emerge via anger and hostility.
We promote understanding of the needs of children who are frequently the witnesses of and victims of the outcomes of very disturbing adult / parental behaviours.
Our work includes bringing the individual participant back into the “experienced world” of a child or children of the family via explorations of their own progressions through childhood, adolescence, young adulthood and parenthood, and of course their partner’s likely transition into parenthood and attachments, too.
DIFFERENT CULTURES
For participants from different cultures, and those with partners from a different culture to their own, we try to bring an understanding of those differences.
Our ideas about how to engage with men and women needing the work is contained in this link which stems from the work of Dr Stephen Porges and his Polyvagal theory.
Attachment theory plays a large role in some, even many cases of dysfunctional behaviours. You can understand something about the impact on children from this link.
Where we started:
Anger management was originally thought to be what was needed.
In 1996 Dr Joseph LeDoux, neuroscientist, clearly established that emotions drive behaviours. Individuals need to learn how to “regulate” their emotions. Anger may well be one of them, but many cases are more about other primary, declarative, categorical emotions, fear, grief, disgust or trust and other secondary, discrete emotions, shame, jealousy, envy and others. In 2002 a psychologist we visited stated Trust was not an emotion. Via bonding, attachment and Trust we were very worried that our emotional wheel model was thus flawed. A little later we discovered a much more complex and somewhat similar model by an American professor which also included Trust .
So just what is needed to help people address their problems and learn a range of new behaviours?
Dr H’s clinical psychology assessment of what one man needed is in the Professionals page. Written around 2017.
There is also a report here from a psychology team on a client whom they had assessed before our work and after our work from about 2004.
There is also here an insightful report from a man who was additionally involved with Social Services but who had attended the London programme which formed the basis of the now decomissioned DAPPs.
SAFETY
Safety for all concerned comes, we believe, in early and effective intervention. We always try to engage with the client as quickly as possible because of the potential risks involved to all concerned, children, mothers and fathers.
Prior to Covid our target was to meet face-to-face with clients in their own homes within 10 days of their initial contact with us. Now first meetings are carried our via Zoom or WhatsApp. These meetings now usually happen very soon after an individual’s first contact.
About 10 days are usually needed to complete all the initial processes prior to taking part in a group course. Our experience is that last-minute arrivals can be impulsive and then the individual either does not join a group or settle into the work. But, if there is a space available, we will always do our best to engage with the late arriving individual.
WE HOPE TO PROVIDE THE RIGHT COURSE FOR THE NEEDS OF OUR PARTICIPANTS AT THE RIGHT TIME.
OUR RESULTS SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES
WE DO NOT REST ON OUR REPUTATION WE ARE BUILDING IT DAY BY DAY!