1 Telephone support. Often people are very distressed by their own behaviour and by the consequences of becoming separated from a partner (and children). This service  offers "first aid" help about how to manage the immediate circumstances of feeling desperate. Other helping organisations are  listed on page 8. Some people can become intensely suicidal following the split-up from a partner - and often their family as well - suicidal and other very desperate thoughts are quite common. The Samaritans are often a very good source of help at extreme moments their national number is, 08457 90 90 90, they also offer an email service jo@samaritans.org  or you can also ring us on our contact number.

2 Face-to-face  meeting. This begins a process of examining just what you need and where it might come from. It might also be the introductory process to undertaking our work.
A face to face meeting takes place in your own home or somewhere very close to where you live. It costs us at least £35 to deliver: we ask you to donate what you reasonably can towards the cost of this.

3  Intensive courses.  These are for people who need to understand the impact of their behaviour on their partner, find  out what is wrong with themselves and  learn to change their behaviour. A place on a course costs us at least £480. Again we ask you to donate what you can towards the costs of this and we can only run a course when there is enough local finance with which to run it. We are quite happy to take donations towards the cost over a year or two years. Reports for Social Services or for the courts can be produced if required. These are nearly always funded by Social Services or the courts themselves.

(This type of behaviour-changing work is very severely underfunded nationally. Support for female victims is now very substantial, funding to help men - and women - change their unacceptable behaviour is almost totally absent, mainly because of underlying politics, intentional or unintentional, which, focus on "greater safety for women" and almost consequently produce non-effective work with men, and largely ignore safety of children.)
If you do not need to undertake this work but would like to contribute to the initiative then please read more about this at  The Big Give.  We are a bums-on-seats organisation, no office, no co-ordinators, no non-productive meetings, no excessive expense, just work - with those that need it.)

You can ring 01604 211 445 0121 270 61 68 and get paperwork by post, with application forms, etc.
Or you can get it emailed to you, print out an application form yourself and either scan and email it back, to temperdv@gmail.com or request that it is filled out when somone comes to see you.

TEMPER  Eagle House, 28 Billing Road, Northampton, NN1 5AJ

TEMPER is a registered charity. Registration number 1081139
And a company limited by guarantee: 3890623

Our work is not right for everybody. Some people might not have enough concentration to be able to do it. They might need to wait a while first and process other problems.

For some people this type of work is not appropriate, they need much longer-term work.

Some people are going to need much greater support than we are able to offer.

For a few of the people that contact us their level of abusiveness does does not merit the level of investment we would all have make. Sometimes a person who is essentially the victim approaches us to try to "put their partner right"

People from vastly differing backgrounds take part. Virtually all of the work is pratical. There is very little reading and no writing needed other than for your own purposes of taking brief notes.

You can find course start dates on page 3. Caution: Very occasionally we have to cancel a course at the last minute because there is not enough finance with which to run it, or because  individuals have dropped  out at the last minute, leaving the group too small to be viable.

The course is absolutely exhausting. The amount of learning at a very fundamental level and your  "emotional content"  will leave you feeling very drained. If you are in work and you are able, we suggest you should take the Monday off work to recover from the loss of rest and also from the intensity of the work.

For partners needing support we  try to attach partners  up to other  organisations so that there are no conflicts of interest and we are not seen as "taking sides" or of having a couple trying to "talk to one another through the organisation". We believe it is safer for all  concerned  that  one organisation should not be responsible  for "both sides".  Marriage Care, Victim Support, Women's Aid, Men's Aid  and Mankind are very likely useful sources of help. RELATE should potentially be a source of help, but despite 70 years of expertise they are currently immersed so deeply in feminism that they cannot differentiate between "intimate terrorism" and "common couple violence".

Where a victim cannot access these services we then do our best to support them.