For those seeking help to address / change their abusive behaviour to a wife or husband, a partner or former partner. Dates for our next courses are at this link. You can also make payments or donations via the same link. An application form can be downloaded from this link in word or from this in PDF but it is best to call one of the 3 numbers available. Please note that the dates for the London courses now also start at 9.00 a.m. and run to 6.00 p.m. The courses are in a closed group, you need to attend both halves in the same group, or you have to start again from the beginning.
Both men and women are aggressive, abusive and violent in relationships. Inevitably this has consequences for the safety of children in and of the families. Making all men the abusers and sending them on the now discredited Duluth style perpetrator courses, the kind almost exclusively accredited by RESPECT - and, as a matter of policy required by CAFCASS, where the "patriarchy" fits all, is as nonsensical, ineffective and counterproductive as it is to insist that all women are victims and, in the Uk, support them by sending them on the 12 week "Freedom Programme" whose near entire focus is the 8 types of male abuser!
Dr Tonia Nicholls blows some welcome light into the agenda.
Information for solicitors can be found on the next page, Services.
Guidance for social services referrals can be found on that page, too.
If you are involved with Cafcass you are advised to read this linked page. There is now considerable evidence against the effectiveness of the "RESPECT accredited programmes", so-called DVPP's. Policy-wise CAFCASS still seems to require / recommend them to the Family Courts. Your legal team will need to be aware of the evidence with which to confront Cafcass' recommendations in a court. Since CAFCASS appear to have removed a list of the RESPECT "accredited projects" from their website we have added RESPECT's list here, November 2016. Other projects can be found on a later page, 8, some of which may still be in existence and some which will not.
Temper offers intensive courses to help change the behaviours associated
with domestic violence. The focus may be on all or any of the following;
physical violence, verbal abuse, aggression, emotional abuse, financial abuse,
sexual abuse. The courses use a focus on emotional regulation of which "anger
management" would be a part. The methodology was developed by TEMPER in 1995 and
improved upon in the light of 20 years' experience and research and developments
in Attachment theory and neuroscience.
An initial meeting is required to assess if we are able to work with an
individual before participants can be accepted onto the programme. Most usually this meeting is in the client's own home or near to where they live. When this is not possible then a Face-time or Skype contact replaces it. The courses
are run in either NW London or Birmingham over two weekends one month apart. The intervening time allows what has been learnt to be
practised and processed and later developed. Both halves of the work must be completed
in the same group. The total course time is 36 hours with 18 for each weekend
at a total cost of £480 to an individual and £580 to Social Services.
Because of the very intensive way of working, the closed group and the
therapeutic approach, the 36 hours offers a very significant saving in time and
cost over a "traditional" DVPP which would be spread over 26 - 32 weeks. This latter time-scale now tends to thwart government requirements for cases to
be completed by the courts within 26 weeks, start to finish.
The speed of the process can allow individual families to return much more
quickly to more stable familial positions and Social Services to have addressed the issues
without seeking to impose very lengthy separations with all the distress often caused to children and the uncertainties caused to adults by lengthy separations and additionally the often greatly increased financial strains caused by the need for "double accommodation" or by one person not being permitted to look after children, thus potentially stopping or reducing a couple's joint income.
In addition to the compact time and cost effective advantages, the
Temper approach is more effective due to the highly personalised and individualised
intervention with the opportunity for ongoing, personal support.
The course has three main components and a therapeutic thread.
a) Learning new skills with which to manage yourself in a couple relationship and understand yourself and your partner (and children) .
b) Learning about many different important aspects of yourself and your relationship.
c) Developing your awareness so that you can "regulate your emotions", rather than 'simply' managing your anger.
Although in schools people learn a great deal of information by reading and writing, the skills needed for couple relationships are mainly about practical communication. The skills can be developed and observational and reflective processes along with them. It follows that most of the practice is with aural, oral and interpretative skills.
Couple relationships are dependent upon the careful recognition of another person's "emotional communication", so this is, of course, also developed and practised. There is virtually no reading and no writing involved in the course. You learn mainly by doing and practising.
"Therapy" helps people to learn more quickly and more easily and an "emotional/therapeutic thread" helps to motivate people. By following "the thread" people are "engaged with" and thus drawn through the work. This "therapeutic component" is capable of changing "the whole base" on which they exist.
We ourselves were stunned by the progress registered in one client by the one piece of qualitative research into our work which was undertaken on Social Services behalf in the context of child protection.
"Attachment" forms the basis of all intimate relationships and so attachment theory provides the lens, if you like, through which the majority of this work needs to be carried out. When this therapeutic thread is grasped, or if the facilitators are able to make it available, an individual can make enormous progress. The report on "Dave" above clearly illustrates this. It clearly indicates a man who made such enormous progress it would probably not be an exaggeration to say that he was a changed personality, according to the examining psychology team. For people who are not abusers but who wish to understand about emotions and a possible way in which they "work", Emotional Insights provides seminars into a way of understanding primary emotions. www.emotionalinsights.co.uk and a meaningful way of approaching the problems of both abusers and victims and males and females, in both roles and in bi-directionally abusive scenarios, statistically the most common kind!
The more detailed themes of the intensive course are linked here in the
form of "3 strands".
Weekend 1 -Day 1 The child - emotional experiencesbasic skills - listening, talking and feeding back
8 primary emotions
Weekend 1 - Day 2 The adolescent - position in the family. Experiential exercises, Developing insight Impact of children witnessing "behaviour".
Weekend 2 - Day 1 The young adult &sexuality. Violence and abuse in the relationship.
Weekend 2 - Day 2 The mature adult / parent. Regulating oneself and the management of personally
Following successful completion of the course, participants
receive a certificate and are entitled to on-going support.
To date more than 900 males and 100 females have completed the course, 100% with around 200
cases commissioned by social services. The course has also been
accepted by over 20 courts including family courts, many of which are named in page 2.
The course we devised 21 years ago has been improved
upon ever since. It runs currently in Birmingham, most usually Ward End, or another Birmingham suburb and in North London, most usually Harrow.
Bringing a programme to your area:
Supported by referrals from Social Services it takes about 3 months to bring a programme to a new area. In a first year this would mean providing 3 courses for potentially 24 (but realistically 18) people in a first year, extendable to match just less than demand in subsequent years.
0203 286 4482, 0121 270 61 68, 01604 211 445
Additionally there is a new Skype number for victims that need to talk face to face and at greater length: Temper.Domesticviolence
Additionally in London we are making a concerted effort to engage with young families and particularly where a woman is pregnant or there are recently born or very young children in the family.
Emotions drive behaviour, not "power and control".
"Anger management" is
often what is deemed to be needed by the authorities. But since emotions drive behaviour
it is more likely that you need to learn how to "regulate your emotions
". Anger may well be one of them, but some cases are really more about
fear, or jealousy or "attachment".
"Affect regulation" is the expression for the new therapies which are now quickly emerging, resulting from the new sciences which are converging on emotions and which are slowly supplanting "Cognitive behavioural therapy" CBT.
Assuming you finish the course, we will continue to support you for up to a year by telephone and email and, for people who need it, further face-to-face work is available. Usually we want to make contact with youa further 3 times after 2 months, 6 months and 1 year to hear and check out how you are managing with your new skills.
If our project does not appear right for you or you are too far away to make use of it we would advise you to be very cautious when approaching the (pro-) feminist, RESPECT aligned projects. One man's experience of DVIP is recorded here. Many of the projects in the UK are named in our last page, linked here. You may find alternatives at this link. Counselling-directory.org.uk .
"RESPECT" is currently the government approved and therefore Cafcass approved so-called "accreditor" of domestic violence perpetrator programmes, so-called DVPP's.
Our detailed criticisms of the type of programmes they accredit can be found at this address.
We work in roughly a 30 mile radius of Birmingham, Northampton and now North London. People travel in daily for two whole days' work at the weekend and return again to the same group usually 1 month later. Determined people with transport and who can afford a room for a Saturday night (about £50) if booked a week in advance by internet direct with the hotel) travel from much further afield, Plymouth to Norwich, for example, in the past, and Scotland to Birmingham.
The work is exhausting so we recommend not traveling in further than 1 hour per day to the venue. For people needing to use public transport, services are, unfortunately, sometimes not available to get you to the venue for a 9.00 start on a Sunday. On Sundays we will pick up people in central Birmingham to get them to the venue on time.
In North West London the current venue is about 5 minutes walk from a tube station.
Most often our clients are in heterosexual relationships but gay men and lesbian women have also taken part successfully and without apparent difficulty.
We are mainly focused on sources of help for abusers rather than victims. There is relatively speaking masses of help available for female victims, and virtually none for men, victims or abusers. Contact information is available on the following page